The Presence

A big misconception in life is that we usher in Gods presence. Its actually the other way around. When Moses was checking out the burning bush in the wilderness something interesting happened that was just recently brought to light for me. You see when God started talking to Moses He told Moses to take off his sandals because the ground he is standing on is holy. God told Moses that the ground “is holy”. We don’t need to usher God into our presence. Lets not forget that God is everywhere. We are the ones who need the ushering. And even more than that if we know the Lord Jesus Christ then God is living inside us ok. So what do we need God to be ushered into. We are already in His presence. Its kind of like Gods blessing. So many people go to “churches” and conferences to get the blessing of God. Look, God has already blessed us. The first thing God did when He made man is blessed him.

In Psalm 139 verses 7-10 David asks the rhetorical question “Where can I go from Your (Gods) presence?”. The answer is, of course, nowhere. We cant escape Him. So the point is not that we need God to be brought to us or to be brought to God as much as we need to realize that God is here. Where is here? Where are you. That’s here. So get it already ok. God is where you are. So experience Him already. Just let God be there in your life. You don’t need music or a pastor or even a bible. Im not saying that any of those things are bad. But, I think that sometimes we think those things are “the way” to God and they tend to take away from God. I love pastors and praise music and the bible. But, I do believe that above all those things we just need to know God is here. When we cant go on. God is here. When we need to be loved. God is here. When all else fails. God is here. Just let God be here.

There is a place in the bible in genesis 28 where Jacob went out toward a place called Haran while he was on his way he decided to stay the night because the sun was set. While he slept he had a dream (vision) of the angels of god ascending and descending to and from heaven. God spoke to him there and told Jacob that he was going to give the land which he was in to him and his descendants. God also told Jacob that his descendants would be like the dust of the earth and will spread all over the earth. North south east and west. God then told Jacob that He would be with him and keep him wherever he goes and wouldn’t leave him until He did what He said. Jacob woke up after that and said the conclusion to this chapter. “Surely the Lord is in this place and I did not know it”. You see God is here we just need to recognize that truth. Even when things don’t seem to make sense. Im writing this as I wait for my wife to give birth to our firstborn baby. But when that baby comes out it will already be entered into eternity. You see our baby stopped breathing moving and living physically three days ago. But I know without a doubt that God is in this place. Ill write more now after the birth. Yes praise the Lord, we had an awesome baby boy Joshua Paul Pollie. The most beautiful boy you’ve ever seen. He got to go right to Jesus without the hassle of this world. Not saying im not blessed by God in this life. But c’mon lets be real, this world isn’t all its cracked up to be. Jesus even attested to the fact that we will have trouble on this planet. But we don’t need to fret because He is present and all we have to do is r-e-c-o-g-n-i-z-e.

One more thought id like to put in here is pretty disgusting. See when you are a homeless druggie like I was you don’t really care about much at all. If you do care about anyone its usually because you need something from them. Im for real. If you still care about anything then you probably aren’t really a homeless druggie. I know it sounds like I might be downplaying other peoples drug addictions but im not. Look I saw some things that would either sicken or scare to death most people. Imagine opening a bathroom door on the beach to find 5 dudes all gang bangin one hooker. Yeah I saw it. How about walking the street waiting for a man to pay you to have sex with him. Yeah I’ve not only seen that I’ve been that. How about going out to find hookers for your “christian” co workers while they sit home getting drunk and smoking weed. How bout that. Yeah that’s some wacked out junk there. But let me tell you the nastiest thing I can personally think of. And yes to me its nastier than having sex with men. I used to sleep in outhouses. That’s sick and let me tell you why. When you sleep in an outhouse you cant shake the smell. I mean I stunk so bad that I couldn’t even stand myself. I feel so bad for crackheads now that I know what its like. But here’s the point. That stink didn’t go away after I left the outhouse. Oh no. you know why? It got into my clothes. Look, if you truly receive Christs Spirit into your life then guess what? You are in the presence of God. Rather the presence of God is in you. If you need to get into Gods presence then His presence isn’t in you. You see this was the unfortunate plight of the old testament saints. If it really mattered I would feel bad for the old testament saints who, number one, never saw the Christ die for their sins in their lifetime but still believed in Him, and , number two, never had the Spirit of God living in them. Dude that really stinks. Im for real. It would be so hard for me to believe if the Spirit of God didn’t live in me. Jesus called those of us that haven’t seen Him in the flesh more blessed than those who did. Jesus told Thomas that he only believed because he saw Jesus but blessed are those who have not seen Jesus but still believe in Him. That’s us ok. I know you’re not stupid but sometimes God has to even remind me of how blessed I am. Again I just say recognize. God is here. If you know Jesus then God is in you. Present for ever more in you. You are in His presence. Now all you have to do is realize it. Live like it. It is, whether you like it or not.

Well I thought I was done but I have to tell you also about a time about 4-5 months after I got saved. I left the ministry I was at to live and work at a ranch. I figured that I needed money to live a life worthy of being called a life. So I left the ministry on a pass to check out the ranch and while on my pass I got to drink a beer or two at night. That felt good. I thought that I was cool with that since my crack addiction had pretty much taken away my alcohol addiction. I did ok too. After that pass I told the ministry that I was leaving and on good terms left to go to stay at the ranch. Well I started to work at the ranch and stuff went ok for a bit. I drank a few beers once in a while and then started smoking a joint or two here and there. That got to be kind of regular but I was still holding up and not really getting messed up or anything and I thought I was cool. After a month or so I had some money in my pocket and thought to myself. Hey I can go get some stuff. So I went in search for some crack. I knew at that time I wasn’t delivered from that yet. I shouldnt have done it and so on and so forth. But hey if that all didn’t happen I wouldn’t be here today. I tell you what. I have never had so much trouble getting crack in my whole life. I was even in california ok. I thought drugs would be all over the place in cali. They were of course but I was trying to get the wrong drugs. Meth is what cali is all about I would later find out. But let me tell you what. I could not get away from God the whole time I was trying to get crack. It just wouldn’t happen. No matter how much I tried to do the drugs I just couldn’t get the right stuff. I tried to get some coke one day to make my own crack and it took me like 4 hours jumping through hoops I’ve never heard of in my whole life. Then one day someone I had known from the ministry just happened to be working next door to me and eventually even ended up living on the ranch with me. This is the first time I ever smoked meth. I snorted meth once at this all night weird fest thing we had at a friends house whos dad made the stuff. Id never smoked it though. And once I smoked meth I never wanted to do it any other way. You see I loved smoking. I wasn’t really much of a snorting person. Even when I did coke like every day for like a year I didn’t like the fact that I had to sniff it and then keep sniffing like all night. But when I met crack it was a love affair. But that’s not the point. During all of this stuff at the ranch God was there. Not just around me though like the rest of my life. God was in me now. I couldn’t shake Him. This guy who had been at the ministry tried to get me to check out “other religions” but I kept telling him I already knew Jesus. I thought that he did too but obviously he didn’t. So,even though I was doing some weird things that I shouldnt have been and even some things that I had never really done in my life, I could never deny Christ. I just couldn’t do it you know why. I know Jesus. I don’t believe in Him. I know Him. Another example of knowing that God was with me that whole time is that I did something I never had a conscience about doing, stealing a car. I had stolen many cars in my life but never cared about anything having to do with them. I had gone to a bar and some beers one night and I had a pretty good buzz on, and as I was leaving I saw a car with an open window. So I opened the door and fished around for some change or whatever I might find, and the keys just happened to be in it. So I did what seemingly came natural to me, I took it. But the strangest thing happened. As I was driving down the road, swerving between the yellow lines, as best I could. Suddenly something hit me like a baseball bat to the back of the head. And suddenly I felt something I never felt before. Bad. So, I was forced to turn the car around, take it back to the bar I was at, and walk home. Nothing else can explain that, except, God was in me.

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